Comrade Obama – is the President a Communist?

I’m sick and tired of hearing all the right-wing demagogues saying that Obama is a Communist. I happen to be a Communist and I take great offence to being lumped in with the likes of Obama. Obama is a Capitalist – plain and simple. He is not going to nationalize the economy. He is not going to collectivize the farms. He is not going to hand control of industry over to working people. In fact, he is going to do everything in his power to help big business continue to plunder the United States and the world.

It is ironic that these idiots would scream Communism now. After all, we didn’t hear a whisper from them when George W Bush was out nationalizing banks! That’s right – NATIONALIZING BANKS. Of course, we commies called it socialism for the rich and capitalism for the poor. In any event, it was basically an admission that free-market capitalism had failed. The big corporations and their lackeys in Washington are changing tactics. The free market thing didn’t work out so well, so they’re going to go back to the corporate welfare thing.

Now I know what you’re thinking – that Obama is trying to bring in socialized medicine. There’s that word again – Socialism. Well first off, that really isn’t even strictly accurate. But the second thing you have to realize is that every other advanced capitalist country has it. If public healthcare makes Obama a Communist, then America is just one tiny island of capitalism in a whole sea of Communism. In fact, every other G8 country is Communist. So is Canada, all of the European Union, Israel, Brazil, Australia, Finland and North Korea – ah, okay forget that last one. You could also add to the list of Communists the 56% of Americans who support public healthcare.

With so many “Communists” in this world, what’s a guy like me to do? You see, I’m actually in favor of nationalizing the economy and handing over control of industry to the workers. I think that the people should democratically control the economy, that you should be involved in decisions in your work place and that you should be able to elect your boss. I think that the billions upon billions of dollars in profits that the big corporations make should be given to the people that earned it. I think that we should stop wasting money and lives on unwinnable wars, and put that money into healthcare, education and a general improvements in living standards. I think that politicians should be elected, recallable and make no more than the average wage of a worker. But if everyone says that what Obama is spouting is Communism, then what’s the point in even hoisting the red flag? No self-respecting commie would ever march under his banner.